


the more I try to catch your eye (the less I seem to hesitate)

by duaa



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fighting, Getting Lost, Logan and Roman patch up their relationship, Lost/Stranded, M/M, badthingshappenbingo, sympathetic everyone, woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Each time he tried to apologise, Roman's face would set in a sneer, watching him flounder and stumble. That face haunted Logan, plagued his nights and slipping into his thoughts. He had wronged Roman - perhaps beyond the point of no return.Now, he was getting a chance to fix all of that.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707997
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	the more I try to catch your eye (the less I seem to hesitate)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Ms. California by Beach Bunny :)

"Do I have to?" Patton's hands were on his hips, a stern expression painted over his face. He looked annoyed, perhaps Logan was annoying him. A small part of Logan regretted ever saying anything, regretted asking questions. He was the one who noticed Roman's absence, so he should be the one to go find him - it did sound fair to Logan. No matter how fair and just it sounded, Logan still dreaded the conversation he would have to have with Roman, taunts and jokes that stung just a bit too much to be jokes. He just wanted to co-exist, it wasn't that hard. They used to get along before... Logan wasn't sure when it all changed. He didn't like this change, it wasn't glorious evolution, like their relation with Thomas or Virgil, perhaps even Deceit and Remus.

It was filthy mutation - mutation that he played a part in. Mutation that he helped nurture and grow. He played an equal part in the denaturing of their friendship. What he did not play a part in was how Roman seemed to disregard him even more, starting new fights over nothing. If Logan abstained from participating Roman would quickly chalk it up to his 'I have no feelings' drivel. If Logan shot back, things would get out of hand, slipping away until they were seething. None of the outcomes were favourable, he wasn't sure how long he would last under Roman's scrutiny, the words charged with passion and fire that let him know that Roman truly believed what he said. And so he should, it wasn't like Logan had shown him otherwise. 

He wasn't a saint either, he knew his words hurt - yet he still said them. His apologies were mediocre hallmark card copies, never expressing what he truly wanted to say. He tried, oh he tried, but every time his throat dried up or his words came out choked. One time Patton interrupted them, telling Logan off for starting fights. He tried to tell him - but who would believe him? One time Virgil showed up, pulling Logan away due to some... circumstances. 

And each time, Roman's face set in a sneer, watching him flounder and stumble. That face haunted Logan, plagued his nights and slipping into his thoughts. He had wronged Roman - perhaps beyond the point of no return. 

Getting up, he headed for Roman's room, the quickest way into the Imagination. He could only sink in and out of places he could picture clearly (or if Thomas took them), and the imagination was a place he knew. The last time he had been there was a almost seven years ago, when Thomas was still pursuing his career in the sciences. The following years had been hard for Logan, until Youtube came into view. Those years were better at first, then slowly dissolved in him having to put up a facade, a mask of an unfeeling robot. 

He didn't know which hurt more, the fact that the others believed it, or the fact that he had to do it anyways.

***

__

_"Uhhh... He left. Huh."_

_"Yeah, he seemed pretty in thought to me. I don't think he heard anything you said, Patton."_

_"Do you really think so, Virgil?"_

_"Yes, without a doubt."_

_The sound of laughter echoed around the bare commons, never truly stopping._

__

***

Logan was in the Imagination, and he had a destination in mind. When he came here the last time with Roman, the princely side had shown him a treehouse - or rather, a treepalace - he had been working on. It was supposed to be cleverly concealed, only accessible by the smallest of trapdoors. The only thing that was supposed to be reminiscent of a treehouse was that it would be a house on a tree. It wasn't supposed to look anything like any treehouse Thomas had ever been in. Roman had deemed it to be the best hangout spot where they could sit and hang out. Logan had been looking forward to it, Roman had promised that he would love it, and if anyone knew what Logan liked - it was Roman.

Seven years had gone by since. The Roman he knew now would never make something like a treehouse. He knew that Roman treasured his creations, always completed them. He claimed that it was to set a good example for Thomas. Logan knew that he had to find the treehouse, which is where he would find Roman. He remembered the path they had taken that day, the rolling meadows and the mostly barren land, with a few flowers and such. He remembered the towering castle, regal and proud, always at the horizon. He remembered the forest that was behind the castle, a clearing with the largest tree. He could describe the place like it was the back of his hand.

The only problem was that this was not that place. 

Sure enough, it was the same land... it just had a lot more than Logan remembered. A lot more. There was shops and houses and museums that stretched out for miles, reminiscent of Roman's favourite movie, Aladdin. He could his Roman's emblem on banners, he could see the fountains - it was a lot to take in. The castle, at the very least, was still visible. Barely. It looked a lot further away, and since he couldn't see it properly, he couldn't just appear there. He would have to travel - by foot. He knew that Roman would have expanded his work, it was just the magnitude that surprised Logan. The details, the intricate details that would have taken hours - Roman's work was flawless, as par. The only reason they fought over Roman's work was about how realistic those ideas were. And of course, whether Thomas could achieve the same effects. 

Somehow, they ended up with Logan relentless criticising Roman's work. Most of it was perfect nonetheless, Roman was extremely talented - unrivalled by anyone, perhaps save for Deceit and his brother. Although now Logan had been reduced to lashing out instead of the well-earned praise he would rattle off to Roman, he was still proud of him. His chest always swelled with pride whenever Roman showed off his finished products, no matter how unrealistic. He still treasured every one of them, every single draft, every single sketch. Roman's work was indispensable, he knew that. 

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Someone bumped into him, scowling. 

"Ah, apologies. Uh - could you tell me the way to the castle?" He quickly seized the chance, knowing that the path was most definitely not straightforward the way it used to be. 

"The Royal Castle? Why on Earth would you wanna go there?" It was now Logan's turn to frown. 

"What do you mean?" 

"The Prince is almost always in a bad mood, grumpy all the time. He changed, you know." 

"How so?"

"Ugh, he used to talk to the children here and create new things, now he's always either tired or busy. Making boring things."

"Excuse me? Nothing Roman has ever created is boring. What do you want from him? He is still Thomas' creativity, of course he's tired!"

"Hey man, I hear you. It just seems like he only ever comes here when he's upset." The other man seemed to regard him with wary confusion, hands splayed in a placating gesture. 

"This is his realm. He'll come and go as he wishes." 

"Yeah, yeah." He waved Logan off, turning around. 

Is that really what was happening? Roman was almost always in the Imagination, and if he was upset every time...

_"Logan, you are a useless robot. A tin man, you hear me? No one likes you, Google Ass-istant!"_

_"And how would you know? You seem to spend most of your time cooped up in the Imagination."_

_"Yes and? I'm working, creating - making! What do you do, Logic, make schedules that Thomas can't even stick to? At least my creations are awesome!"_

_"This is useless."_

_"Just like you, huh?"_

_"Of course not. I am an essential part of Thomas' life -"_

_"Not any more you aren't. Thomas doesn't care about science anymore, Professor Proton."_

_"..."_

_"Hah! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do something useful. Something Thomas needs."_

__

***

Logan was lost, terribly and horrifically, he was lost. Everyone seemed to wary of him, keeping their distance. Crowds parted before him and children whispered. Some people greeted him, polite and distant. Perhaps they knew he was a Side. He also had an altercation with another person who believed that Roman's work didn't meet the cut. They insisted that Roman's work for the local theatres had _mistakes_. Roman's work never had any mistakes - he was Creativity, after all.

After that, he had wandered some more, walking in the general direction of the castle. Once he reached it, he would make maps, several maps and find out everything there was to know. After, of course, apologising to Roman. This time, he wouldn't let any quips or jokes stop him, he would say his piece and then leave. Or stay. It depended on Roman, of course. 

He couldn't pretend that an apology (coming from him, of all people) would make everything right again, it couldn't rebuild the bridges Logan burned. He still had to try. Try to get off the burden that sat on his chest, crushing him with guilt. 

He looked up at the sky, a figment of Roman's Imagination, dotted with stars, many more than Logan had ever seen. Wait. How was it so dark already, Logan had barely in here for six hours... 

Looking up at the stars, he sighed, the castle was still miles away, not to mention how Logan had to find the tree house too. As the night set in, an old lady stumbled out of her house, waving at Logan. He ran to help but she slapped his hand away. 

"Come in." She warbled, iron tight grip in Logan's arm. "You can have the roof, I have the tallest roof here." Logan had the feeling that if he tried to disagree, his face would be slapped next: and so, he let the ancient lady drag him away, marching up the stairs with the stamina of some one who could not be that old. 

She hadn't been lying, her roof was most certainly higher than the rest. What did confuse him, however, was how close the other roofs were. The houses were evenly spaced, there was no way they were this close. 

"Good night, good night." She paused in apprehension between the second time, eyes twinkling. She let out a hearty chuckle and soon disappeared, scurrying away. 

Logan decided to investigate how close the roofs were, eyeing it suspiciously. Tentatively hopping down it. Now that he was on some level ground (roof) he went ahead to see if all the roofs were this close, slowly praying that they were. Which, yes, they were. And so he decided to cross the distance to the castle like this, otherwise having to weave through streets. The closer he got, the further away the roofs became, mindless hops turning into cautious leaps. Now, he had to run the distance of the roof and jump, having complete faith in his understanding of physics. Once he neared the end of his rooftop path, he realised that the sun was rising, bathing the town in golden light, shining straight onto Logan's back. The time that passed here could not have been the time that passed in the other world, in either the mindscape or the real world.

***

"Halt!" The guards in front of the castle levelled their spears at him, flipping up their visors in smooth, synchronised movements. "Who goes - uh..." They lowered their weapons, sharing a glance. Logan raised an eyebrow, waiting for them to finish.

"Um." They stared at him, squinting. 

"Is Prince Roman here?" Prince Roman. He was a Prince, after all. Remus was a Duke, ranking higher than Roman in status. Technically, the kingdom that was divided in two was all supposed to be Remus', and he would then be crowned King. However, the Imagination works in mysterious ways. Logan would compare it to a sentient being, making its own mind up about many things. The Imagination was created by the King, King Creativity. When he split, the Prince and the Duke were formed. Roman was more like King Creativity, hence he was the Prince as Princes are in the royal lineage. Remus, however, was the Duke as he held his own control, his own powers, as Dukes tend to be. 

The reason for this imbalance was due to the impartial way the Dark Sides lived. Deceit wasn't the leader, he was more of a gate-keeper. Whereas the Light sides had an overpowered Side - Patton. IN their earlier days, he had way more power than he does now, he could sway Thomas to his will at command, for Thomas was a naive child. 

Roman used to resent Patton for that; Patton was the head of the Light Sides and he couldn't have anyone more or equally powerful as him: hence the shift in balance. This lead to interesting dynamics in the Imagination, torn between recognising Roman as the rightful heir and Remus as more powerful - the Imagination split. It hadn't seemed fair to Logan. The Imagination, by all accounts, belonged solely to Remus. But Roman had been his friend. Is still his friend. Besides, Remus didn't seem to be upset about it. 

"Is Prince Roman here?" He repeated. 

"Uh, no. He came by, but then left to go into the wilderness." One of them spoke. 

"Thank you. That will be all." The fact that Roman's creations had the capacity to turn against them was another indicator of how much power Roman truly had. Their loyalties belonged to Remus, whether they knew it or not. The Imagination belonged to Remus, and Logan knew that if at any point in time Remus wanted his proper share, he would have it within a second. But so far, Remus had never expressed any desires. He, in fact, came into Roman's kingdom quite often. Just to roam around hand in hand with Deceit and Virgil. 

Facing the dense forest, he sighed and trudged along, hoping to find Roman fast. The trees... they all looked the same. Tall and ominous, letting just a few slivers of light slice through. The beams of gleaming sunlight cast a soft, golden glow, making the melting dew stand out. It was enchanting, Logan would be more than happy to just stay here all day. Clearing his head he reminded himself that he came here to find Roman.

***

__

_"Hiya V! Why do you look so sad, being a camboy just not cutting it?"_

_"..."_

_"OW THAT HURT HARDER PULLING MY NAILS OFF YOU HEATHEN!"_

_"Logan went to find Roman. In the Imagination. He's been gone forty minutes or so, any idea how much time must have passed there?"_

_"Forty minutes? Fuck that's long. Hmm... definitely more than one night. He must freaking out, his old ass watch will not be working there."_

_"Ugh."_

_"Hey, don't worry about it okay? It'll all be fine."_

_"Thanks, Rem."_

_"Yeah, don't worry about it at all. I'll watch your videos!"_

_"DECEIT WEEPS BECAUSE HE IS NOW A WIDOW YOU -"_

***

The thick jungle had enveloped Logan, caving in around him, he tried retracing his steps but to no avail. All he had left was his sense of cardinal directions, he knew that he had entered the forest from the East. He was now walking in the East, dragging his legs along. He tried summoning a map, but it was empty, filled with only what he saw and knew. Asking people was pointless, no one could make a map of this maze like forest. The trees converged and weaved around each other, creepers slithering around, shrubs that swayed in the non-existent wind. The monotonous snapping of twigs under his feet seemed to play even when he was standing still. Every second was spent looking over his shoulder, jumping at shadows and flinching at the slightest of movements. He pushed through another spiderweb, grimacing at the silk sliding along his fingers. Stumbling slightly, he found himself in a clearing. Heart soaring, he frantically looked around for something akin to steps etched into one of the trees.

He found one tree with such markings, climbing up - only to be met with nothing but branches. Maybe Logan misjudged how much Roman truly liked that project. How much he actually liked Roman. Maybe his repentance was only sided, maybe Roman truly did hate Logan. Shaking his head as he cautiously climbed down, he tried to reason with himself. Whether or not Roman felt the same, Logan had to apologise and that was all he was here for. 

Maybe he should try sinking out to another clearing? He did have an excellent idea of what the stairs were supposed to look like, it was worth a try. Closing his eyes, he pictured the scene again, he could feel himself sinking out. Reopening his eyes, he warily glanced around. Those vines weren't here before. _Those vines weren't here before!_ This was a different clearing, and there was the tree with the same etchings on it. Logan was a lot more determined now, there were only so many clearing in this forest and he doubted that Roman would spend so long amongst the trees. 

It would take a lot of time. (Why did Roman even do this anyway? It seemed extremely unnecessary. Why would anyone need to be deceived so thoroughly?) But it would be time he was willing to spend.

***

__

_"Have you heard, dear?"_

_"Of the man dressed in black?"_

_"Yes, him."_

_"No one has seen him before, you know."_

_"But I heard Angelina did!"_

_"She's old, dear."_

_"So very old. It's true."_

_"Well, I suppose you've heard of the man dressed in black."_

_"With the sigil on his back."_

***

Logan spat out a glob of blood, wincing at the metallic taste. The cuts on his arms were healing fine, closing up rather quickly - it was the ones on his hands that bothered him. What if he got an infection? He hoped he didn't get one, it would be put him so far behind on his schedule.

So, so far behind. 

He was trying to prepare himself for another tree to climb - the problem was how thick these trees were. It was impossible to tell what was above the first layer of leaves. (Not to mention how well Roman cloaked things. A treehouse wasn't exactly that easy to hide. Or build.) He could hear the rain, he could smell it - but nothing passes through the heavily interlocking canopy trees. Occasionally, drops of water rolled down, trickling along. The humidity was so high, he felt like one of the trees, so very moist. 

Slowly and carefully climbing up the notches, he couldn't help but notice how far up these went. No, he couldn't get his hopes up, where would he be if he thought every single tree was 'the one'? Look at him. This was getting pathetic now.

Climbing up, he sighed, hands aching. He just wanted -

Wood. He just hit wood. Brushing the leaves aside, he looked up at it, seeing hinges. He had to stop himself from screaming, shouting and letting all the pent up energy, the frustration all out. No, Roman could very well be anywhere else. 

He knocked on the trapdoor, desperately hoping that it would swing open and did he just hear the sound of creaky doors he couldn't see anything there was something in his eye and -

"Logan!?"

"Roman!" He pulled himself up, all but falling onto the wooden floor. 

"You... you found me." 

He panted, smiling slightly at Roman who looked incredulous. "I did."

***

Once he got his breath under control, he frantically explained to Roman how he realised that he was missing and how worried they all were. Roman sat him down on a chair, inspecting his injuries.

"Hm. Your..." He gestured broadly at Logan. "Everything is fine." 

Logan sighed a breath of relief at that, thinking about how he would approach apologising to Roman when the side in question spoke up. 

"So, I'm assuming you're going to burn that shirt?" He stood near a window, gazing at the forest below him. Logan frowned. 

"No, I'm hoping that the stains would be gone after a wash. Do you not think so?" 

Roman huffed. "That's not what I meant."

"I...I'm not sure I know what you mean." In a flash Roman was next to him. 

"Did you not see this?" He tugged Logan's shirt out of it's tucked place, making Logan yelp. He pulled it forward, revealing a symbol stitched onto Logan's shirt. He gaped at it, dumbfounded. What was that? 

"I did not. See that. What is it?" 

Roman reached up to his neck, loosening his tie. Logan's cheeks were flaring up as Roman unbuttoned his top button, fingers brushing against Logan's skin for a fleeting moment. He pulled the edge of his collar into Logan's vision. The very same symbol was stitched onto it. Logan had no idea what that was, where it came from and _when_. How on Earth did he not notice that? The sound of something being summoned filled the room as two mirrors positioned themselves on either sides of Logan. Roman made him turn, showing him the back of his shirt. It was the very same design, splayed across his back. 

"Do you not know what it means?" Roman turned away, posture tense. 

"I truly do not." 

"You are a royal knight, now. My knight." 

"Oh. I see." 

Roman looked at him, confusion filling his face. 

"I don't see why I would burn this shirt, then. Although I look ridiculous, I mean, a knight wearing a polo and a tie, I would still treasure it." 

"Huh?"

"Roman, I... I came here to apologise. To you. I have been a fool, and I hope you can forgive me. I have ruined our relation, and attacked you for no reason. I never wanted our jokes to progress to such a hurtful level, I never wanted to hurt you. But I did, and for that, I can never forgive myself. I knew that the words I was saying, that the things I accused you of were untruthful and malicious and I still said them. The truth is, Roman, you are... passionate, your work is flawless and I value your opinion and, and ideas more than anything else." He swallowed, as Roman stared on. "Roman, you are everything I want to be and more. I have been so unjust and a... terrible friend. I know this doesn't - OOF"

Roman tackled him him as they fell to the ground, a mess of limbs. Roman mumbled something in his ear and Logan just squeezed him harder. 

They would be okay.

***

_"Ah, Logan, I see you are Roman's knight now."_

_"Yes."_

_"Excellent. We match, now."_

_"We do?"  
"Yes, Logan. Please, do keep up."_

_"Roman didn't tell me you were also his knight?"_

_"Oh for crying out loud, I'm Remus' - wait."_

_"..."_

_"Logan I trusted you."_

__

***

__

_"I told you all the truth. The Good Knight came by my house."_

_"Yes, ma'am."_

_"I know him. I knew him when he was little, you know."_

_"Yes, ma'am."_

_"You still don't believe me."_

_"No, ma'am - OW, I mean, I do ma'am."_

_"Fine. Now, scram!"_

_"Bye, Ms. Angelina."_

***

__

_"Ro-ro~"_

_"Remus. I told you, do not call me Ro-ro."_

_"Okay, okay. I heard that someone - OUCH! Why do you all keep on hitting me?"_

_"Because it's fun, dummy."_

_"Fine, fuck you all, see if I care!"_

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if you see a typo! hope you like it ❤️💕


End file.
